days off = writing!

I went to Starbucks today. It’s one of my favorite things to do. I am the stereotypical Starbucks customer, too. I order a “Grande Chai Latte, with whip” and come with my laptop, Apple earbuds, and a pile of books and park my little butt at one of the small tables for a couple hours.

Today I came with the specific intent of reading and writing. I have a lot of writing to do for a project I’m working on and it’s nice to have a day off to get it at least in rough draft form. (I still wish the workweek was only four days long…).

So I’m sitting at Starbucks reading and writing. There’s a man sitting beside the window. He’s drinking his second cup of coffee…but he’s sitting alone…he doesn’t have anything to read…he’s not on a cellphone…he’s just sitting there. Occasionally, he taps his fingers to the beat of the music that’s playing. I’m sure this type of behavior shouldn’t be as bizarre as it seems. Why can’t we just sit and enjoy a couple cups of coffee by ourselves? Do we give ourselves enough time to reflect and think? I know I don’t. It makes me uncomfortable to sit and think for anything more than a few minutes. I might be able to sit for 20 minutes, but nothing more than that.

I’ve been reading a book on Generation Me. It’s a phenomenally well-written portrait of the millennial generation (1979-200?). We are constantly bombarded with technology, with music, with images, with things to do, with things to learn, with things we’re supposed to be…there’s no peace and quiet. We’re overwhelmed with the idea of ourselves (self-involved, self-indulgent). In many ways we’ve forgotten our connection with others. More than that, we need something to do or something to entertain us all the time that we forgot that quiet times of reflection are meaningful and often important to surviving. I guess my question is, do we like what we’ve become?

Perhaps some silly thoughts, but that’s what struck me today.

cold weather and hot fires

it's chilly down here. i get a lot of flack for saying it's cold at 50 degrees, especially when it's below 30 degrees up north. but it's cold. and the rest of the floridians said, amen.

i realized that i don't have appropriately warm clothing for the couple weeks of cold weather we do get. i now am the proud owner of a floridian wardrobe. how did that happen? what is in said wardrobe? more tshirts than you can count, capris, flowy skirts, shorts, more flip flops that necessary, 3/4 length sleeves shirts, including two "sweaters." so on days like yesterday, when i have dress professionally, i have to dig out sweaters that are - no lie- from my freshman year of college. (stacey and clinton from whawhat not to wear would gasp at this particular moment.) i decided that the pillling was so bad that i'd rather be cold all day than to embarrass myself by wearing it. this is a problem when you're fingers turn purple if they get slightly cold. so, i went around most of the day with my lucky polo hat, mittens and my leather jacket. i still looked ridiculous.

anyway, the good side of it being so cold is that we actually get to use our fireplace. i thought it was a little whacky to have a fireplace in our florida house, but - as it turns out - it's useful for a few nights a year. evan's so excited to build a fire and actually use the silly thing. i never realized that there's something relaxing about fires...i love the sound of them.

we're going to stay inside and stay warm over the next few chilly days before it gets warm again. at least the sun's around during the cold. i know up north it's gray and cloudy for 5-6 months of the year. stay warm, northerners.

oh good grief

so another christmas passed in florida. it was 80 degrees, in case you didn't know. i wore flip flops on christmas (again).

flip flops.

i don't think i'll ever get used to christmas in florida.

we had a wonderful christmas though. it was really hard to be away from my family, but we had a quiet and restful day. the church does a christmas morning service. i didn't think that i would like going to church on christmas (i know, that might be sacrilegious...) but it seems to be a good way to start the holiday. the service is only an hour long and involves music and the Lord's supper. it's really neat.

i had my two weeks off and really used the time to enjoy being a "housewife." i got to clean and make dinner and keep a less frantic pace. it was a real treat. i never thought i would say that as a former gender scholar, but i really did enjoy it.

i'm back to work (and reality) now and that's okay too. we have a lot going on in the next semester (by way of grants) so it'll be a busy january and february...well, probably busy until next christmas.

so, on a completely separate note, since moving to florida, i've grown increasingly appreciative of my former physician in delaware. dr. fletcher was the best doctor anyone could ever have. i mean ever. he's amazing and i miss him dearly. i think the doctors in florida are practicing retirement not medicine. the first doctor i went to in florida was nice enough (a fellow delaware native) but we didn't click. and i thought his hours were bad.

...until i started with the new doctor. this doctor is very kind like dr. fletcher, but he works 9:30 - 4:00 p.m. THREE DAYS A WEEK. what kind of doctor works three days a week??? and crappy hours along with those three days a week?!?!?! it's not even remotely convenient for me. i don't know how it's convenient for anyone. i mean, maybe some retirees are okay with hours like that, but not a working person.

and i understand that doctors need to maintain boundaries and not work 24/7. i interviewed several doctors about their work schedules. i know it's difficult. i don't really blame him - it's his practice and his right to work the hours he wants to work (or not work those hours). it just means that we're not a match either. i need to get some test results and then i'm off to see if i can find another doctor. maybe someday i'll find someone as good as dr. fletcher.

but probably not.

one months (oops!)

i realize that it's been a while since i've blogged. it's been a writing-intensive time at work and we've been busy with church stuff, so time (and brain power) to blog has been extremely limited.

that said, i wanted to ramble about the difficult situations i've found myself in recently. i've realized that if you pray for God to improve your character, He will give you more than enough opportunities to work on it. whether in situations designed to help me hold my tongue, to make me think on "such things," to love unconditionally (even when that other person is completely being a "stiff-necked person") - recently whatever situations i encounter throughout the day, i'm challenged to put into action what i've read in acts, philippians, ephesians, romans...etc. when Paul says

The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

i think he knew that we'd need to focus on that last part. practice the hard stuff and know that the God of peace - the Wonderful Creator - will be with you as you make those hard decisions, or - more likely in my case - during those times when you miss the mark (and fail to have "the same attitude as Christ"), the God of peace - my God of peace is with me.

Our Sovereign God

it's been hard to read the news recently. it seems as if everything is falling apart. the economy is crumbling. there are wars and rumors of wars throughout africa and the middle east. people are being persecuted for all sorts of reasons and crime is on the rise. our world leaders are corrupt, compromising and unwilling to value human life.

but our God is sovereign.

Psalm 103: 19-22 says:

The LORD has established His throne in the heavens, and His sovereignty rules over all. Bless the LORD, you His angels. Mighty in strength, who performs His word, obeying the voice of His word! Bless the LORD, all you His hosts. You who serve Him, doing His will. Bless the LORD, all you works for His, in all places of His dominion; Bles the LORD, O my soul!

Everything may fall apart. Things can get a lot worse. But God is sovereign "over all" and I know that His hand is there.

something big...

i have the biggest urge to write. now, i'm a professional writer, so that's not a big deal because i write all the time. but i have a big urge to write something that's not a grant and i want it to be big. i think i want to write a screenplay. i wouldn't even know where to begin...i don't have really a story. i only have one character...and i can't decide whether the character is male or female. and really, besides that, i have no clue what to do with it.

i've been reading a book on writing tools. (it's a fabulous reference, by the way.) and i just feel inspired to start writing something fictional. something that's not all about goals and objectives. we'll see what comes of this...

amazing.

"now that i have seen
i am responsible
faith without deeds is dead
now that i have held you
in my own arms
i cannot let you go until you are"
~Brooke Fraser

this really captures how i feel right now...